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old one mate ... but nice ...

similarly there was one with aishwarya also ... :) translation

Cheers

Ashok

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1. Go to Google Translation.

2. Enter the following line to be translated in the translation box :

Aishwarya's mom is nice and cool

3. Translate from english to spanish. You get:

La mama de Aishwarya está agradable y fresca

4. Copy the translated text and convert it back from spanish to english.

Correct me if i am wrong ashok.

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google will never try to retify it

google works on automatic software logic so the results are fully automated based on relevence and frequent searches

and who is more related to faliure other than MR bush himself :grin:

Edited by abhay

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1. Go to Google Translation.

2. Enter the following line to be translated in the translation box :

Aishwarya's mom is nice and cool

3. Translate from english to spanish. You get:

La mama de Aishwarya está agradable y fresca

4. Copy the translated text and convert it back from spanish to english.

Correct me if i am wrong ashok.

Good one's quite Intresting ............. :grin:

How do u people find such things...........

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1. Go to Google Translation.

2. Enter the following line to be translated in the translation box :

Aishwarya's mom is nice and cool

3. Translate from english to spanish. You get:

La mama de Aishwarya está agradable y fresca

4. Copy the translated text and convert it back from spanish to english.

Correct me if i am wrong ashok.

perfect one .. I was in my office .. so did not post the whole thing myself :grin:

btw I always wonder ... how did google come to know so much about aishwarya (Vishal... are u responsible) :grin:

Cheers

Ashok

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Aam hai kya

Part 1

A parrot goes to a shopkeeper and asks ... 'Aam hai kya?'

The shopkeeper says ... 'Nahi. Hum Aam nahi bechte.'

Next day at the same time, the parrot goes again and asks him ...'Aam hai kya ?'

He gets a little irritated and says... 'Are Bola na, Hum 'Aam nahi Bechte'

On the third day, the parrot goes again and asks him 'Aam hai kya ?'

He gets wild and yells ...'Bola na nahi. Abhi vapis aaya to hathoda marunga sar ke upar'

The next day,the parrot comes again and asks him ..'hathoda hai kya ?'

The shopkeeper says ... 'Nahi'

The parrot then asks ... 'Aam hai kya ?'

Part 2

The next day parrot again goes to shopkeeper and asks "Aam hai kya??"

The shopkeeper is ready now.... He quickly pulls a hammer and hitz the parrot on the face. The parrot looses all his teeth. But determined, parrot again goes 2 the shopkeeper next day n asks

Scroll Down

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"AAM KA JUICE HAI KYA???" :D

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nice one !! vishal .. keep it up... :)

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hehhehehehhehehehehehehhehe :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

"aam hai kya" lol

well contiuning with ICEMAN's rather intresting facts heres some more

The Top 10 Craziest Science Stuff you didn't know

You can Hypnotize Chickens

You can have an erection once dead <<- a intresting one guyz :)

Your hand can have a life of it's own

Don't laugh too much, it can kill you

A weapon could make you Gay

It's true, Men can breastfeed

Bart Simpson's Tomacco (half tomato, half tobacco) was possible

It's OK to have a third nipple

You can die on the Toilet

Picking one's nose and eating it might be healthy

4 details visit here

Edited by abhay

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[/u]An SMS chat that changed my life

God: Hello. You called me.

I, Me, Myself: Called you? No, who is this?

God: This is God. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat with you.

IMM: Sure, I pray. Just makes me feel good. Actually, am busy now. In the midst of something, you know.

God: What are you busy with? Ants are busy, too.

IMM: Don't know. But I can't find free time. Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.

God: Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.

IMM: But I still can't figure it out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.

G: Well, I wanted to help you resolve your fight for time by giving you some clarity. I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.

IMM: Tell me, why has life become so complicated?

G: Stop analysing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.

IMM: Why are we then constantly unhappy?

G: Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday.

You are worrying because the act of worrying has become a habit. That's why you are not happy.

IMM: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?

G: Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.

IMM: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty.

God: Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.

IMM: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?

God: Diamonds cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials. With that experience their life becomes better, not bitter.

IMM: You mean to say such experience is useful?

God: Yes. Experience is a hard teacher, though. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.

IMM: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why can't we be free from problems?

God: Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons to Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.

IMM: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading.

God: If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.

I Me Myself: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here? I don't know the answers.

God: Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be.

IMM: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction.

God: Success is relative, quantified by others. Satisfaction is absolute, quantified by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead.

IMM: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here? I don't know the answers.

God: Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.

IMM: How can I get the best out of life?

God: Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.

IMM: Sometimes my prayers are not answered.

God: There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.

IMM: Thank you for this wonderful chat. I'll try to be less fearful.

God: Keep the faith and drop the fear. Life is a mystery to solve, not a problem to resolve. Life is wonderful if you know how to live.

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Man...u got his IP address?....lets hack :ph34r: his database and put up a virus in the OP sys

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Inzy'zs interview after the third one day..hilarious!!

Rameez: So Inzy, disappointed with your performance today?

Inzy: Bismilla-e-rehman-ur-rahim. Thanks to allah.ya the indian batsman

is play very good today. we is try very hard but is not win the game.

Rameez: Any words for Dhoni?

Inzy: Ya dhoni is play very well. He is hit his shot very hard in our

gaps :) . In start, we is protect our gaps very well. the grass is also

thick.. but dhoni is split our gaps with his bat. :grin:

Rameez: Another ordinary bowling performance?

Inzy: Ya our balls is loose :) . the bowler is went for many run. Asif is

bowled well. Also, after some shots the ball is out of shape. umpire is

not give another ball.. it is tough to play with one ball :)

Rameez: Dropped catches.. did that prove costly?

Inzy: ya the ball is not stick to our hands :D . we is practice a lot

sticking our bat in our hands.. but now we is more practice sticking

balls in our hands.

Rameez: Any plans for the next match?

Inzy: ya India is on top but we is try to bounce on our back :o . Insha

allah we is play better.

Rameez: All the best Inzy

Inzy: Thank you.

^_^

:lol:

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lolz....their balls really seems to be loose :)

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hey guyz c this one!! i bet you will alugh ur a*s offffffffffff :clap::clap::rolleyes::D:grin::grin:

Ques. 1 : What is RED and goes TRING TRING TRING ????

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answer

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A TOMATO....... AND THE TRING TRING TRING WAS TO CONFUSE YOU......

Anyways... Here s one more....

Ques 2 : What is RED and goes TRING TRING TRING ????

Scroll Down for answer

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The DOOR BELL and the RED was to CONFUSE you......

Anyways... Here s one more....

Ques 3 : What is RED and goes TRING TRING TRING ????

Scroll Down for answer

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A CAKE .... and both were to confuse you....

Anyways... Here's one more....

Ques 4 : What is RED and goes TRING TRING TRING ????

Scroll Down for answer

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A Fire Brigade Obviously...........

And you Thought I was trying to Confuse You!

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THE WAY CC WORKS

- Joe, from the support team...

- Hi, I can't send mail. I get .....

- ah. ok, can you please reboot your machine

- ahuh? what do you mean by reboot?

- I really mean it. push that off button. wait some seconds, then push

it again

- aheh? but...

- push it I say

- ok, done

- wait until it booted

- it has boot sir, it's up and running

- no, you're confused. wait for the windows login menu

- sorry? it booted I say.

- ah? click on the start menu please

- what do you call a start menu?

- the button on left buttom please

- ah, you mean my ICEWM main menu?

- dunno why you talk about ice. find the outlook program there

- what outlook? I use Mutt

- Mutt what? please click on outlook now. I'm a busy man

- sorry... I seem out of luck today...

- what? did you click on the start menu or not?

- no, I have no start menu

- ahah, you're a Mac user. please call again to get a Mac "helper". I

only help on PCs

- but I have a PC

- so click on the start menu

- but I don't have a start menu

- so you're on Mac

- No. I'm running IceWM.

- why are you talking of Ice? I also would love to go for ice holidays.

let's be serious please

- do you prefer if I run gnome?

- please don't insult me. I don't earn much, but I'm no gnome.

- sorry. let's say kde

- kiddy who?

- let's stay on the console. I use mutt...

- what?

- mutt

- ah. sorry. you need to contact the Mac support team

- but I'm not running Mac

- which windows are you running then? 95? sorry that's too old

- NetBSD

- sorry?

- NetBSD. you know linux?

- oh, yes of course I know linux. so you're a gamer. happy you are...

- no, I am not a gamer,

- call the Mac guys please

- which number?

- the same you tried now

- so I'll get another "PC" guy, no?

- yes. but try many times and you may get a Mac support guy

....

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wow !! there goes codecz again insulting the popularity of Linux :clap: ...

seriously speaking, that was good read

Cheers

Ashok

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wow !! there goes codecz again insulting the popularity of Linux :rolleyes: ...

seriously speaking, that was good read

Cheers

Ashok

Hi,

This the way so called highly competitive and qualified CC team of most of the

biggest company works in real. :clap:

Reliance is also one of them :D .

[CC] - Hello this is TBMFCD, how can I help you

[JU] - Hey man, why your PPP server is sending reset packet so frequently ?

[CC] - Packet, what packet ? Are you typing correct address of our server,

its www.blah-moron.com.

[JU] - No No, I am talking about your PPP server man, not the web server.

[CC] - We don't have any PPP server sir [PAUSE] yes I just got confirmation

from out technical department. We don't have any PPP server.

[JU] - [ Laughing like a maniac while CC guy hook off the phone]

PS:

TBMFCD -> True b*a*s*t*a*r*d moron from company damn.

i hope this isn't a real convo :clap:

Hi

It is man :grin: .

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Well, that was Confusing :biggrinthumb:

well here is a simple one :

Bholaji is the english teacher in a school. He is very

well renowned for all his students do very well in

exams. The school is having an inspection and the

inspector decided to visit the english class.This is

what transpires :

Bholaji : "Bolo bachon GADHA"

Students (in chorous) : "GADHA "

Bholaji : "Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA"

Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA"

Bholaji : "Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA,

GADHE KE PECHE MEIN"

Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA

, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN"

Bholaji : "Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA,

GADHE KE PECHE MEIN, MERE PECHE SAARA DESH"

Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA

, GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH"

By this time the inspector is furious. He confronts

the principal and shouts at him "What is this Bholaji

teaching his students. He is supposed to be taking an

english class and what he is saying is GADHA, GADHE KE

PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA

DESH.

The principal too is shocked, the famous english

teacher doing this.

Principal : "Bholaji what nonsense are you telling

these students "GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE

PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH".

Bholaji : "Yes i was telling all this in class, but i

was only teaching the students the spelling of

ASSASSINATION. *** - *** - I - NATION (GADHA , GADHE

KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE

SAARA DESH)

:cry:

* The 3 stars(***) are A S S

Edited by Rohit Rocker

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About Bill Gates:-

1. Bill Gates earns US$250 every SECOND, that's about US$20 Million a DAY and US$7.8 Billion a YEAR!

2. If he drops a thousand dollars, he won't even bother to pick ! it up because during the 4 seconds he picks it, he would've already earned it back.

3. The US national debt is about 5.62 trillion dollars, if Bill Gates were to pay the debt by himself; he will finish it in less then 10 years.

4. He can donate US$15 to everyone on earth but still be left with US$ 5 Million for his pocket money.

5. Michael Jordan is the highest paid athlete in US. If he doesn't drink and eat, and keeps up his annual income i.e. US$30 Million, he'll have to wait for 277 years to become as rich as Bill Gates is now.

6. If Bill Gates was a country, he would be the 37th richest country on earth.

7. If you change all of Bill Gate's money to US$1 notes , you can make a road from the earth to moon, 14 times back and forth.But you have to make that road non-stop for 1,400 years, and use a total of 713 BOEING 747 planes to transport all the money.

8. Bill Gates is 40 this year. If we assume that he will live for a! nother

35 years, he has to spend US$6.78 Million per day to finish all his money before he goes to heaven.

Last but not the least:

The Best One!!

9. If Microsoft Windows' users can claim US$1 for every time their computers hang because of Microsoft Windows, Bill Gates will be bankrupt in

3 years.

One more:-

*Did You Know????*

* *

** Coca-Cola was originally green.*

** *

* The most common name in the world is Mohammed. *

*

* The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with. *

*

* The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. *

*

* There are two credit cards for every person in the United States. *

*

* TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row ! of the keyboard. *

*

* Women blink nearly twice as much as men!! *

*

* You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.*

*

* It is impossible to lick your elbow.*

*

* People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond. *

*

* It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.*

*

* If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.*

*

* Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history.

Spades - King David

Clubs - Alexander the Great

Hearts - Charlemagne

Diamonds - Julius Caesar. *

*

* 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 =3D 12,345,678,987,654,321 *

*

* If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. *

*

* What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?

Ans. - All invented by women. *

*

* Question - This is the only food that doesn't spoil. What is this?

Ans. - Honey *

*

* A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out. *

*

* A snail can sleep for three years. *

*

* All polar bears are left handed. *

*

* American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.*

*

* Butterflies taste with their feet. *

*

* Elephants are the only animals that can't jump. *

*

* In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.*

*

* On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.*

*

* Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.*

*

* Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.*

*

* The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.*

*

* The electric chair was invented by a dentist.*

*

* The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. *

*

* Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants. *

*

* Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times. *

*

* The cigarette lighter was invented before the match. *

*

* Most lipstick contains fish scales. *

*

* Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.

Edited by theking

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This one is good :P Give it a read and surely you will laugh

Ancient Chinese Torture

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. \"I\'m lost,\" said the man. \"Can you put me up for the night?\"

\"Certainly,\" the Chinese man said, \"but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man.\"

\"Ok,\" said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.

Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn\'t keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man\'s warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn\'t hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.

He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, \"Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest.\" \"Well, that\'s pretty crappy,\" he thought. \"If that\'s the best the old man can do then I don\'t have much to worry about.\" He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: \"Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle.\" In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, \"Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost.\"

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Had read that earlier... but that sure is a rocking post mate!

To add mine :

A guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde. He immediately turns to her and makes his move. "You know," he says, "I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let's talk."

The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the guy, "What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," says the guy. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," says the blonde. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff --grass. Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?"

The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven't the slightest idea."

"So tell me," says the blonde, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know ****?"

Cheers

Ashok

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An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.

After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always

right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.

The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, "$165,000". The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman replied that she made bets.

The president was surprised and asked, "What kind of bets?"

The elderly woman replied, "Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square."

The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.

The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, "Would you like to take my bet?"

"Certainly", replied the president. "I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square."

"Done", the elderly woman answered. "But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 o'clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness."

"No problem", said the president of the Bank confidently.

That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.

The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square.

The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.

The president was happy to oblige.

The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. "Of course", said the president. "Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure."

The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, "Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank of Canada!"

Another great one:-

She is 21 years older than her son. In 6 years from now she will be 5 times as old as her son.

Question: Where's her Husband?

(There IS a mathematical solution for this.. try it..)

Solution:

She (MOM 'M') is 21 years older than Son (Child 'C').

M = C + 21

In 6 years from now the mom will be 5 times as old as the child.

M + 6 = ( C + 6 ) x 5

C + 21 + 6 = ( C + 6) x 5

C + 27 = 5C + 30

-3 = 4C

C = -3/4

The child is -3/4 year old, that's -9 months.

Child will be born in 9 months.

So, right now, her Husband is on the top of her!!

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SMS Short Cuts:

1dRfl - wonderful

2 - to/too/two

2nite - tonite

3dom - freedom

4 - for

4get - forget

4N - foreign

ADN - any day now

AFAIK - as far as I know

AFAIR - as far as I recall

ASAP - as soon as possible

ATM - at the moment

B - be

B4 - before

B4N - bye for now

BB - bye-bye

Bf -boyfriend

BG - big grin

BION - believe it or not

BK - big kiss

BTDT - been there, done that

BTW - by the way

By - busy

C - see/sea

CB - call back

CUL - see you later

CWYL - chat with you later

DUZ - does

DUZNT - doesn't

F2F - free to talk?

G2G - got to go

Gf - girlfried

Gr8 - great

Grr - angry

H2 - how to

HUH - have you heard?

IC - I see

ICCL - I couldn't care less

IK - I know

ILU (or ILY) - I love you

in4ml - informal

KISS - keep it simple, stupid

KUTGW - keep up the good work

@ "At"

MSG "Message"

W "With"

ATB "All the best"

NE "Any"

W/O "Without"

B "Be, Bee"

NETHNG "Anything"

WKND "Weekend"

BCNU "I'll be seeing you"

NE1 "Anyone"

XLNT "Excellent"

BWD "Backward"

NO1 "No-one"

XOXOX "Hugs and kisses"

B4 "Before"

OIC "Oh, I see"

YR "Your"

C "See, Sea"

PCM "Please call me"

1 "One, Won"

CU "See you"

PLS "Please"

2 "Too, To, Two"

DOIN "Doing"

PPL "People"

L8 - late

L8r - later

LMK - let me know

M8 - mate

MOF - matter of fact

MT - empty

MTE - my thoughts exactly

NAGI - not a good idea

Ne - any

Ne1 - anyone

No1 - no one

nrg - energy

OIC - Oh I see

OK - okay

ONNA - oh no, not again!

OTT- over the top

PCM - please call me

Pls - please

Ppl - people

PTL - praise the Lord

R - are

Re - regarding

RUOK - are you okay?

Spk - speak

Sry - sorry

SWAK - sealed with a kiss

THX - thanks

TTYL - talk to you later

TXT - text

U - you

U@ - you at? (where are you?)

UOK - you okay?

UR - your/you're

Usu - usually

W8 - wait

W84M - wait for me

W/ - with

Wan2 - want to

wn - when

WMF - works for me

XLNT - excellent

Y - why

YM - you mean

YR - yeah, right

GONNA "Going to"

SUM1 "Someone"

3SUM "Threesome"

GR8 "Great"

STRA "Stray"

4 "For, Four"

H8 "Hate"

THNQ "Thank you"

:-) "I'm happy"

L8 "Late"

THX "Thanks"

:-o "I'm surprised"

L8R "Later"

U "You"

LUV "Love"

UR "You are "

d:) "Baseball cap "

MOB "Mobile"

WAN2 "Want to?"

2DAY "Today"

F2T "Free to talk"

RUOK "Are you okay?"

2MORO "Tomorrow"

FWD "Forward"

RGDS "Regards"

<TOPIC MERGED!>

Edited by Vishal Gupta

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